yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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