It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
