i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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