Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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