Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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