is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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