im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The feeling are messing with the penis
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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