I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize