Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
