Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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