you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
