Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
