Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize