u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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