You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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