I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
this just has baby written all over it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
