In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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