Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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