my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
