You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
