Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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