Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
