i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
