i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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