Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
