i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
