Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
