false alarm. still invincible.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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