I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
