You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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