Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
