I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
