She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
