how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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