well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize