god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
