Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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