How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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