Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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