3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
