It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
