WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
