I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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