Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
