the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
