i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
