This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
