If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
