would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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