can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nutella sex= disaster
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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