yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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