I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
