weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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