Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
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