I have demons in me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
