you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
