We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
