i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
