Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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