sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize