at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
