You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
