Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
