I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So many bounce houses so little time
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
