no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
