And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
