You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
